What Lens are you looking through?

I came across this video today last week from Huff Post and wanted to share. It’s a little over 7 minutes but well worth the watch. Word to the wise – Get some Kleenex. This video has so many teachable moments, such as being of service, rich is within, the pain and regret with parent and (adult) child relationships.  Watching this brought up the thought of Lenses – what lens we wear and see through.   So often, as adults we may still see our parents through the lens of when we were children, not noticing any change within our parents as they grow older.  The lens may have been clouded or focused in one direction because one didn’t get the love the way wanted or needed. The lens becomes so focused over time, that this becomes the lens as an adult,  seeing the world through the lens of not getting what one wanted/needed/deserved.  I have worked with many adults and their families, and I was always surprised at the perceptions by the adult children (who were the patients) to their parents.  There were some times that I expected the most gruesome parent to walk through the door based on the perception of the child (adult), but it never happened.

I know these lenses can cause a lot of sadness, anger and guilt.  Does your lens see what you don’t have or didn’t get all those years, or does it see what you do have and what you did get from your parents?  How does your lens see your partner or past loves?  What about your friends? I have multiple lenses, and yet I also have my ‘favorite’ lenses that I use too often that I’ve decided that I need to change the direction of the lens for my own health and well-being. Optometrists recommend getting our eyes checked every year (especially after hitting the 40 yr mark) because the eyes change so much, yet we can go through our whole lives with the same lens.  What would happen if you altered your lens ever so slightly so that you can see more or see differently.

What Lens are you looking through today?