#1 Stress Reducer

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I’ve posted about stress, but I haven’t yet posted about what helps reduce stress. The #1 stress reducer : Sleep. Ahhhhh…sleep. I don’t know about you, but I love to sleep. So much so that my favorite room in the house is my bedroom, and my favorite piece of furniture is my bed. But lately, I haven’t been getting the restful sleep that I need or that I’m used to.

Sleep allows your body to rest and realign, allowing your brain to process and dump the day’s experience. Deep sleep is what we’re after because it is in the 3rd and 4th stages of sleep that our brain waves move reeeaaally slow. There are no eye or muscle movements.  This is Delta sleep stage. This sleep state induces healing. If we find ourselves getting continuous or more light sleep than deep sleep, your body and mind will not have the time or space to rejuvenate or heal.  Lack of sleep impacts your weight, your heart,  immune system and makes you age faster or at least look like it.

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Stress and sleep are closely linked and sometimes it’s like asking the question: what came first the chicken or the egg. Stress can impact your sleep, just think about any time you’ve lost sleep because you were worried about something , a relationship, a job, a performance etc. Losing sleep can create stress. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night or maybe too early in the morning only to find that you’re unable to go back to sleep? The more time passes, you toss and turn, you try different sleep positions thinking and hoping this will help. Instead, you become more stressed out because you see the clock getting closer and closer to the time you actually need to get up and all you want to do is scream “Ugh!!!!!!?”   Frustrating I know. Not sleeping through the night can snowball into more than one night. Not getting enough sleep can lead to stress or compound your stress, and stress can lead to not getting enough sleep because of worry or anxiety. It is cyclical, and they both interact and impact each other.

 

There was a time when I worked at a rehab center, which I liked to call an emotional ER. People would be admitted  because their lives were in shambles due to addictions and trauma. There was constant stress and intensity, so much so that my nights after work looked like Homer below.  I was getting a lot of sleep, but not the deep sleep I needed for my nervous system to Fully decompress, destress or heal. I was in a state of exhaustion.  Many people may find themselves in this state due to situational stress, stress that is due to a certain career, job, receiving higher education (freshman 15 weight gain) demands and expectations.

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So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted or stressed, and your body is needing you to sleep, give yourself permission and some time to take a catnap.  This is normal. This is your body telling you that, “Hey, I need to heal. I need to decompress.”  Your body and your mind will thank you.

 

Sleep Well

 

What is Stress? Big T and little t stress

 

 

I’ve written about this previously on this blog some time ago.  This is the second video in a series about stress for your health and wellness.  Each video will build upon the next, and I keep this stuff light, you can tell by my graphics.

If you have any questions or something to be researched email me at info@tejwest.com.

 

Inside the Need to Please

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Do you automatically answer “Yes!” when you’re asked to help in some way? Do you feel guilty when you say ‘No’ to someone else’s request? Do you often say yes, when you really want to say No? If you think about saying No, are you worried about what others will think of you? If you answered yes to these questions, then You, my friend, are a people pleaser.

People pleaser’s are lovely people. Everyone ‘loves’ you because you’ll do anything others ask you to.  They will bend over backwards trying to please others, to not offend others and to seek approval.

If you’re one to say Yes when you really want to say No, then most likely you’ll begin to feel resentful and taken advantage of. This often leads to being self-righteous by feeling unappreciated for ‘all the sacrifices’ you’ve made (place the back of your hand on your forehead and tilt your head back for further dramatic effect). When I hear that what I really want to do is throw my head back and let out an ‘ugh!’  I’m not pointing fingers. After all, I’ve chosen two professions in which I take care of others. I know this well.

Here’s the deal. People pleaser’s don’t realize that they’re playing the victim. However, they play the victim by blaming other’s for not acknowledging them for ‘all the things they do’ or their sacrifices.
And…here’s the kicker.  People pleaser’s actually do it to be liked, loved and accepted with the ‘don’t rock the boat’ mentality. Below this need to please, is a deep need to be loved and accepted by keeping everyone else happy.

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                  Please! Don’t Leave Me!

Most likely if you’re a people pleaser you’re probably scoffing at this idea. Saying, “I do these things out of the goodness of my heart.”  What people pleaser’s don’t realize is that people pleasing is really a form of manipulation. I know, I’m cruel but I’ll say it again. People pleasing is a form of manipulation and control.

Let me explain. You say yes because:

  1. You want to be seen as a ‘nice’ person or to be seen a certain way by others. This is manipulation. You are behaving in a way that is inauthentic to who you are and what you want thereby manipulating how others see you. It’s like you being your own Public Relations team.
  2. You want everyone to get along, no upsetting the apple cart, which translates into no confrontation of problems/issues thereby controlling the environment by controlling other people’s behavior to control the outcome.  You’re subconscious is basically screaming, “Love me, Don’t leave me!”

When you do things for others, out of the goodness of your heart, are you expecting ANYTHING in return, such as acknowledgment, help, a hug, a thank you, or approval? When you say Yes, when you really want to say No, you perform for the love, acceptance and perception of another.

Here’s the issue with the aforementioned, if you consistently people please to be ‘nice’ so you’ll be liked, you’re not being You, which leads to being resentful. But, as much as you might be resentful, angry, self-righteous and blaming other’s, you can only blame yourself.  That’s the reality.  Because you don’t have to say yes.  There’s power in that.

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What do you do to nurture yourself?

What do you do to nurture others?

 

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